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Difficult to make friends after moving abroad? Eduard Bañez opens up about feeling isolated

Moving permanently to another country often comes with major adjustments, and building meaningful friendships can be one of the biggest challenges. As priorities change and busy schedules take over, forming genuine connections may become more difficult.

Although messaging apps make it easier to stay in touch with loved ones back home, virtual conversations can never fully replace in-person interactions, heartfelt conversations, and comforting hugs during difficult moments.

Former Star Magic artist Eduard Bañez knows this struggle all too well. After leaving the Philippines years ago to pursue his dreams overseas, he admitted that finding people he could genuinely connect with became one of the biggest hurdles he faced.

“You will have a sense of isolation when you first arrive in a new country. You do not know anyone. You don’t understand their vibe. You do not know what they enjoy. Bilang tao, siyempre, hahanapin mo ‘yung koneksyon,” Bañez said.

(As a person, of course, you’ll naturally look for a connection.)

Bañez continued, “At mahirap maghanap ng koneksyon. (And it’s difficult to find that connection.) Making friends was difficult for me. Naturally, one of the reasons for that was that I was unfamiliar with the location. I didn’t know where people in my age group usually go.”

Bañez went on to say that people don’t let new friends into their lives since they already have their core groups, which makes it difficult for them to make new friends in general.

“Yes, I connected with individuals when I put myself out there, but that didn’t imply we were instantly friends. I observed that,” he shared.

“Sa buhay natin, mayroon tayong work friends, party friends, pero hindi nangangahulugan na matatawagan natin sila kung may problema tayo.

(In life, we have work friends and party friends, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we can call them whenever we have a problem.)

“That is why I was so determined to make friends in Los Angeles when I arrived,” he added.

Bañez believes in the importance of friendship, which everyone should cultivate.

“Mahirap kapag wala kang friends, lalo na kung nasa abroad ka. Kailangan natin ng kaibigan. Sila kasi ‘yung magga-guide sa’yo sa pag-navigate ng mga bagay-bagay na hindi mo alam sa lugar na ‘yun,” he said.

(It’s difficult when you don’t have friends, especially if you’re living abroad. We all need friends. They are the ones who can guide you in navigating the things you don’t yet know about that place.)

Saying that friendship shouldn’t be based on race, he continued, “I came to the realization that people come at the proper time and place throughout my early years of making friends. Genuine connection doesn’t have to be forced. It astonished me that I could make friends with individuals from different cultures.”

“As long as the heart is there, friends can be made despite cultural differences. Marami kang matututunan sa kanila,” he added.

Bañez also stressed the importance of participating in the Filipino community in order to maintain one’s identity.

“At, siyempre, huwag kalilimutan ang Filipino community. Kahit na nakapag-adjust ka na at naka-adapt ka na, kailangan mo pa ring pakinggan ang kuwento ng kapwa mo Pilipino sa Amerika.

(And of course, don’t forget the Filipino community. Even if you’ve already adjusted and adapted, you should still listen to the stories of your fellow Filipinos in America.)

“Ask about their well-being, whether their jobs are going well, whether they are being treated appropriately, and other things,” he pointed out.

Despite acknowledging that it becomes more difficult to make new relationships after the age of thirty, Bañez maintains that people are interconnected. Sincere people will genuinely become friends at the appropriate moment, not sooner than one might think.